


guy walks into...

by imperatorkhaleesi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, M/M, lowkey Pulp Fiction reference in there, violence against birds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4961926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imperatorkhaleesi/pseuds/imperatorkhaleesi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short little AU thing inspired by a post on tumblr. In which Bucky sleeps in, Sam doesn't pick up his phone, and Steve is stranded in the desert with a bunch of money and some bird cages.</p>
            </blockquote>





	guy walks into...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stonecoldfemme](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=stonecoldfemme).



1.

Steve stares down at the engine and cannot believe his luck. Dead birds slide out of the passenger seat. He sighs.

Sam drops his toast as he peeks out of the diner window and prays that the man sliding off the Harley isn’t for him.

Bucky tramps up to the door and yanks it open, smirks as the chimes jingle against the glass.

2.

Steve roots through his pockets, ransacks the backseat, pushing over cages and swiping away feathers as he hunts for his phone. His fingers slide over the neck of a bottle; the last one from his six pack. He sighs, cracks it open.

Sam rubs his hands with his napkin as the Harley Man struts over to him. He sets his face into what he hopes is an “I’m cute but I’ll fuck you up” face.

Bucky hops atop the booth seat across from the gorgeous man with the steel in his eyes and the golden sun caressing his beautiful skin. He licks his lips and tries not to stare too hard.

3\. 

Steve digs in his compartments and scrounges up change. He bounds out of the car, and slips into the telephone booth a couple feet away from the ditch.

Sam clears his throat and sits up.

Bucky snags a bit of bacon from Sam’s plate and signals to the waitress. She ignores him.

4.

Steve slides the coins into the machine and waits impatiently for a dial tone. He takes a swig of beer.

Sam’s eyes narrow as his lips part. “Can I help you?”

Bucky bites his lip, bites down his appallingly salacious response. The corners of his mouth quirk up as he chooses a tamer option. “That depends. What kind of help you offering?”

5.

Steve sighs. The line rings.

Sam’s glare gets harder. His cheeks warm.

Bucky’s grin gets wider. He slides off the booth and sidles up to the counter. Orders coffee to go.

6.

Steve’s fingers drum against the booth.

Sam doesn’t pick up.

Bucky does.

7.

Steve huffs as he waits for Bucky to stop cackling.

San orders breakfast and settles in for a long wait. The voicemail on his silenced phone goes unnoticed.

Bucky only half-listens as Steve orders him not to flirt.

8.

Steve fumes as he slumps into the driver’s seat. The horizon, dotted with sand colored hills and grey rocks, ripples.

Sam finally loses his patience. “Where is he?”

Bucky chuckles. “You should check your phone more often, babe.”

9.

Steve squints at his watch, then at the deserted road.

Sam listens patiently as Bucky begins to explain.

Bucky stops midsentence and exclaims, “Jesus, you could probably cut diamonds with those cheekbones.”

10.

Steve gets a slight twinge in his forehead. He sighs. “Goddamnit Buck…”

Sam struggles to formulate a response. His eyes dart down. His face gets hot.

Bucky tries not to laugh.

11.

Steve checks his watch, then checks the suitcases in the trunk. Bullet holes punctured the metal. Green peeks out of one. He looks down the road behind him. Nothing stirs.

Sam lets out a breath. Closes his eyes. Opens them. “You said something about…dead birds?”

Bucky whips out his phone. “Yeah. About that.”

12.

Steve races down the road. The engine roars. Two cars careen behind him. Bullets ping off the trunk. Birds sqawk in the backseat, their beaks clanging against the cages. Two of them burst from the cage, flap around the car. One dives for Steve’s face. He screams, swinging his arm to swat it away. One by one, the cages clang against each other and burst open. The rear window explodes in a wave of glass. A bird screeches. Rattatat of gunfire. The tire explodes. Birds, everywhere. Out of the back window, on the passenger seat. Steve swerves down a side road, winds his way up and down hills. One car disappears, then both. Steve speeds down the road, sighs in relief. The motor clangs. He skids straight into a ditch. Birds sqwak.

Sam blinks slowly. “Are you fucking joking?”

Bucky nods, mouth set in a hard line. The corner of his mouth twitches. He bursts into laughter in the midst of the sentence “All of the birds.”

13.

Steve stands irritated with the phone receiver pressed against his cheek. “It’s not fucking funny Buck!”

Sam’s eyebrows furrow. “He’s right. It’s not even remotely funny.”

Bucky arches an eyebrow as his mirth dies down. “Oh come on! Huge, broad shouldered, Dorito shaped Steve flapping his arms and screeching?”

14.

Steve bellows into the mouthpiece. “Fury won’t think it’s so fucking funny!”

Sam slides the same sentence over his lips. Adds “You don’t wanna get him quoting Bible verses and shit. I surely do not.”

Bucky shrugs. “Steve got the important shit, right? The birds were secondary.”

15.

Steve pulls off his shirt and tries to squeeze the entirety of his body into the the three square feet of shade the car provides.

Sam waits at the counter for his check.

Bucky sprawls out onto the barstool next to him. He throws his boot up on the table and winks when Sam cuts a look at him. “Come here often, gorgeous?”

16.

Steve shrinks under the car in direct proportion to the sun’s ascent. The heat in the shade creeps upward.

Sam rolls his eyes and pays for his check and Bucky’s coffee. “You’re not as cute as you think you are. Not by a good percent.”

Bucky says nothing; he stores up the memory of how cute this Sam kid is when he’s flustered.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the post that inspired it (http://stonecoldfemme.tumblr.com/post/104472375305/babbleon-someone-should-write-a-story-based-on). If you liked it, thank stonecoldfemme for encouraging me to post it. Also just thank her for existing, because she's fucking amazing.  
> I'm considering working on more of this, because I did leave it in a weird place. So yeah, I will post more. I'm not sure when though; I still have to bang out a commission and two Thor fics (D:).  
> But this was super fun to write. So there will be more. Definitely.


End file.
